NickVenturella.com 7-2-23 - The confidence to set boundaries

It can feel tough to impose boundaries, especially when you’re in a new situation like a new school, or a new job, or a new neighborhood. You feel like you’re the “new person” who is trying to still learn to navigate the new environment you’re in. You don’t feel like you’ve established your value just yet among the others in that group, or at least not enough to start dictating how you think things should be.

I’ve definitely felt this way recently, but a lot of that, I’m rediscovering for myself, is a perception – my own perception. It’s one that others will pick up on and either empathize with or take advantage of – both consciously and subconsciously – until I establish boundaries that help teach them how to interact with me.

This is an idea that my brain knows, but for whatever reason seems difficult to put into action for me, at least until I’ve accomplished something of value that I know I can use as proof that I’m worthy of establishing boundaries. 

The thought being that my accomplishment proves my value, loyalty, and worthiness of being in that community, or on that team, or part of that company, to the extent that if I set up boundaries at that point no one will question my boundaries, or my ability to provide value to the overall group as expected. In other words, I’ve proven my worth so now I have more of a say about how I approach the work and am interacted with regarding my work.

The other part of this is a confidence issue. Until one gains the confidence they feel they need, by proving themselves, it feels like a struggle just to get to the starting line, let alone win the race. However, once that confidence is initially established, it becomes far easier to build upon that confident foundation moving forward, and with that confidence you can impose self-care boundaries that help you to continue to prove your value, which breeds more confidence.

I feel like I’ve recently had such a value-producing event in my work, and while I’m hopeful that it helps provide me the confidence I need to establish better boundaries to continue to produce excellent work, only time will tell, but I definitely feel more worthy of setting such boundaries now.

How about you?  Does this resonate with you? Have you felt like this before? Hit reply and let me know. I’m happy to listen and/or help out where I can.

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Stay positive. Stay healthy. Be kind.Sincerely,Nick VenturellaStrategic/Creative ProfessionalNickVenturella.com