NickVenturella.com 9-8-18 - Positive Detachments

Positive Detachments

September 08, 2018

School just started up again (for our kids and my wife, who works in education), which means back to a more structured routine. That’s often a good thing. In fact, in some ways that aspect of life feels like a bit of a peak.

(I’ve talked about peaks and valleys in previous newsletters.)

Even so, I’m still feeling overwhelmed and restless at the same time. How about you?

Here’s what I’m doing about it. Maybe you can too.

I’m trying to figure out how to live with less, or even without expectation — being detached from outcomes. Not to confuse that with living a numb, unfeeling life. 

Actually, quite the opposite, but instead of resisting the valleys or obsessively hanging on to the peaks, I’m striving to be in a position to embrace both as they come…and go.

I want to give my best efforts for all things I do and am involved in, but be detached from the outcome. In other words, free myself of the expectation of others’ reactions because I can’t control that, and it often sends my own reactions into distracting and unhealthy emotional extremes.

However, I have control of how I react to others, and if I know that I’ve done all I can leading up to, or in, a given moment, then I can be more comfortable with how ever others react to that — good or bad. 

This is not always easy to apply in one’s life, but like anything, with practice it gets easier. 

Often others’ reactions make us react. If you can control more of your own reaction to others and accept their reaction to you, your project, etc., you can be mindful of extreme emotional peaks and valleys within yourself.

Those extreme emotional peaks and valleys within you can push you in other directions of focus that are less likely to be good for you (at least, that’s the case for me).

For example, if you react to someone’s reaction to you in an extreme way you might get unhealthily upset, or let some praise feed your ego unhealthily (you know, get a big head and think you’re superior to others).

The point of all of this is that being detached from outcomes allows you to better regulate your emotional state, which is a good place to operate from in life. Here's an article worth reviewing on being detached.

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Upcoming events: I’ll be performing music in my current hometown of Verona, WI TONIGHT - Sat. Sept. 8, 2018 at Toot + Kate’s Winebar. As this will be my first time performing there, if you’re around and can come, please do so and show your support. It will be a lot of fun. Plus, I’m turning this show into a bit of benefit concert. Any and all money I make from the show will go to my dear friends Emily and Eric who lost their home in the recent Wisconsin flood that happened earlier this week. If you can't make the show, but want to help out Emily & Eric, here's their GoFundMe page.

 Finally, the Eleven team and I are putting on an event at the Robinia Courtyard in Madison, WI on Thurs. Sept. 27, 2018 to introduce the Eleven music career center concept, get feedback from our Madison music community on how to best serve it and build new relationships while strengthening existing ones.

Have a great weekend!

Sincerely,Nick VenturellaNickVenturella.com