NickVenturella.com 11-15-19 - Triggering action

Triggering action

November 15, 2019

Lately, my wife and I have been reading, learning more about fight, flight, and freeze responses to anxiety and danger.We’re both anxious people. We have an autistic son who is anxious, and another younger boy who is extremely sensitive, so we are able to see how these fight, flight, and freeze responses play out regularly.One piece we recently read talked about knowing your self well enough to know what things trigger your anxiety, or simply escalate your mood toward those responses, and then knowing what kind of response you typically have to those triggers – are you a fighter, flee-er, or freezer?The self-knowledge of knowing what things trigger you and how you will likely respond allows you to proactively plan to embrace your response in a constructive way vs. resisting it (which often makes things worse).For example, if you know you’re a fighter and something triggers you making you frustrated and angry, if you can build the habit of taking 2 minutes to step into another room, scream in a pillow, take a deep breath and return to the situation more calm and able to overcome the anxiety, then you just successfully rolled with your natural response in a constructive way to re-center and deal with what’s at hand.It sounds simple, but it takes a lot of practice to build the habit to where it's second nature, so don't engage in negative self-talk if you don't follow through with this every time - just keep trying. However, if you're going to work on it at home you might as well also work on it in other aspects of your life like at work. There are always going to be people and/or situations at work or in other professional settings that are going to trigger you, and if your current habit in response to those triggers is not what you wish it would be try examining what actually triggers you at work and what your natural response to those triggers are. Then think of something that is simple enough to remember to do in that moment to re-center yourself while at work (do jumping jacks in your office for 2 minutes, journal, concentrate on your breathing) to constructively deal with the situation at hand.Why?…Because it’s life, and you have to constantly deal with the situation at hand. There are always going to be some external factors that you cannot control or avoid. It's at those points that you want to be prepared with a way to deal with such hurdles that honors your feelings while allowing you to come through the other side with integrity.The best way I know how to resolve any challenging situation is to meet it head on and push through it. It's not always easy or comfortable, but that’s where most growth occurs. To do that well, you need to know yourself and figure out positive, constructive ways to take action towards a better, or at least appropriate outcome.No one else can do it for you, but you certainly can do it. Building a positive trigger-response habit will most definitely result in improved relationships - that benefits you at home and at work. 

***Upcoming Events / UpdatesNick Venturella music performances:Yahara Bay Distillers6250 Nesbitt RoadFitchburg, WI 53719Friday November 22, 20197:30pm - 9:30pmOther events:Eleven Music Career Center'sMadison Musicians Networking Holiday Happy HourLocal Madison musicians and other music related professionals come on out to expand your network of useful contacts to help advance your career and musical profession.Tuesday December 3, 2019

Have a great weekend!Sincerely,Nick VenturellaCreative ProfessionalNickVenturella.comNickVmusic.netGrowLoop.comTurnUpToEleven.com